on gender roles

i love and cherish both genders equally. if i am considered a feminist, let it be under the definition that men and women are equally important, and deserve equal rights under the law.

societal gender roles are the silliest (thanks, ayley). the silliest! men and women should work together to build families, societies, governments, and corporations. each individual, regardless of gender, should pitch in their unique talents to create good things for this world.

my birthday was saturday (TWENTY FIVE WUT.) and my mom and her partner took jared and i out for brunch at our favorites ruth's diner. it's always been my mom's thing to take a few minutes when celebrating my birthday and gush about some sappy story of my life, maybe my birth, or an embarrassing childhood moment. this year, she told a story i've heard before, but this time received in a new light.

i was about five years old when i began begging her to make me a princess dress. the feminist in her didn't want to see me foster the i'm-just-a-princess-to-be-saved attitude. i'm her youngest of five, and only girl. she wanted to see me grow up into a strong and independent woman, which i think i've done so far. she would say to me, "okay, i'll think about it." every few days for severals weeks this asking went on and she never quite knew how she wanted to handle it. one day, she was with me and my four older brothers at the park. after asking her to make me a princess dress for the hundredth time, i overheard my brothers talking about racing each other to the next tree. i stopped what i was doing, turned and ran in the direction of the tree. i climbed like a squirrel up the tree, stopping at the lowest branch. she watched me that day playing with my brothers, maybe doing "boy" things, and decided to make me the dress. she realized the princess dress wouldn't define me, or any other "girl" things i wanted, and neither would any of the "boy" things i liked, either. i knew that i was a special and unique person, and what i liked or didn't like was of my choosing.

i like this story. even though we are all influenced for better or for worse by society, i do believe i've come out on top. my mom did a fantastic job teaching me that i am a special person, and that my thoughts and choices are my own because i am an individual who uses my brain, not a girl defined by stereotypes. if stereotypes prove to be true in some cases, then they do, and if they prove untrue in some cases, then they are proved untrue. i am unique because i choose what makes me happy. if i wear pink lipstick and blonde hair, take embarrassing #selfies, have a weird obsession with gnomes, and wear skirts or pants to church, it's because i damn well want to. and knowing me, i've probably tried everything in between, and i settle on what makes me feel the most like myself. if anyone doesn't like that, they can jump in a lake of piranhas.

i really believe that if everyone lived their lives in a way that was pleasing to themselves, regardless of what the rest of everyone else thought, we'd live in a much happier place.

i hope that whether it's a princess dress, climbing a tree, playing with dolls or trucks, i let my future children be exactly what they want, just like my mom has done for me.