chronicles of she

at a labor day family gathering as i was encouraging my cousin to pursue her passion for social work instead of something boring, practical, and safe, my uncle commented, "you have no idea. money is everything!". i wanted to respond, "as long as there are people who think like you, there will be jobs for people like her". but i didn't because i try to keep my sass to a minimum as often as possible and also because i totally respect my uncle and i think he's a smart guy and most of the time i have no idea what i'm talking about.

but on this topic, my opinion is that while he was right, he was wrong.

i know. i sound like a naive, idealist twenty something who thinks love can get a couple by and that there is literal power in the beauty of your dreams. it's because i do.

postitguy, the awesome dude behind the inspiring blog, things we forget, shared this gem recently: money often costs too much. right when i read it i had to do a double take and really think about it. but i thought about it.

the only reason $20 an hour is better than $10 an hour is because you can get to a million dollars in half the time, but either way, with enough time, you can eventually get there. but what if the time you spent at $20 an hour was miserable and the time you spent at $10 an hour was a joy? then which is better?

there are literally never-ending ways to make money. you can do it wisely, greedily, concisely, schemingly, honestly, stupidly, wastefully, or efficiently. you can earn money at the sacrifice of your time, your sanity, your health, your family, or even your self respect; but the one constant is that there is always a sacrifice. at what cost will you earn money?

i shared this quote by bill cunningham on my blog a few months ago, but it's exceptional and fitting to my point here so i'm sharing it again. bill said,

"they don't own me, you see. and that's the important thing, never to be owned. money is the cheapest thing. liberty--freedom is the most expensive. see if you don't take money, they can't tell you what to do, kid. that's the key to the whole thing. don't touch money!"

so let's break down bill's incredibly insightful off the cuff comment. (i'll also mention that bill is 84 and still at it? saw a photo of him at nyfw last week.) "money is the cheapest thing!"

a little over a year ago, i was offered a salary position of $40,000. after a few weeks of interviewing, i was invited to be a primary accounts manager for a telecommunications company i had worked for several years ago. i'll be transparent here, that seemed like an incredible money offer. i don't have a bachelor's degree and any other entry level position couldn't pay me that much. i was totally set on accepting the offer until i started to realize what a salaried paycheck meant. in jared's terms, "when you're paid hourly and you stand around doing nothing, that's time theft. when companies pay you by salary, that's when they time theft you!"

i started to realize that in exchange for the $1,200 paycheck every other week, this wall street mammoth of a corporation was purchasing my time. they were purchasing my, "i'm done for the day" and my "you scheduled me 'til six and it's six so i'm out of here" and my "i'm leaving with my husband for six weeks to accompany him at bike school--see ya".

see, the thing is, you don't really want all the crap you think you want. you want to travel. you want to collect moments, not things. you want to buy those clothes for the experiencing of how you feel in them. you want to buy that boat for the experience of spending deliriously enjoyable time with your loved ones. you don't really care to own a tube a flesh colored creamy substance, you want look in the mirror and see blemish free skin.

as you guys know, i didn't take the offer, for all the reasons i listed above. i just couldn't do it. and sometimes i look back and wonder how life would be different if i had just gone with it. but truthfully, i know it wouldn't have moved me towards meaningful goals. i have no regrets. to quote steve jobs, "i'm as proud of what i say no to as i am of what i say yes to."

with freedom, instead of money, as my focus, i will soar miles beyond wherever that job could have taken me.

"freedom is the most expensive thing!" freedom has and will continue to take so much more work than obtaining that silly job offer took. just so you know, i get that 40k is pennies for many people. but as a starting point for a random kid with little formal education, it was huge.

i plan to live in my dream home and have a family with my husband one day. i plan on having a career that is fulfilling, meaningful, passion-driven, and financially stable. i plan on making it. money is everywhere and affects everything, but it isn't everything. freedom is my goal and truth is my god.