chronicles of she

hey there, internet! jared and i went down to moab for the weekend partly to get away, partly because he had never been, and partly to celebrate my birthday, which was sunday. by the way, i am now 26. what? as we were driving down i remembered my very first real post on this blog was in 2008, recapping a pretty epic trip to moab with some pretty sweet friends. so i thought, is this it? is this the end of an era? moab trip to moab trip, my blog has run it's course? and then i laughed because i can't imagine not having my blog to share when sharing is due. is that weird? i love this little space.

anyways. i'm wondering about stress. last night (or this morning, however you want to look at it), i woke up at 3:30am because i was hot, i had to pee, and i was dying of thirst. oh and our cat was meowing (oh yeah, we got a cat. weird). so i got up, peed, opened the window, stripped off a layer of clothing, and chugged an entire water bottle from the fridge. when i laid back down i felt a million times better. i was laying there thinking about how freaking comfortable my bed is. i have slept with the same down comforter for the last five years (excluding a year and a half for my mission) and it never fails me, all year round, it is the comfiest thing in the universe. i was exhausted. i was comfortable. it was regular sleeping hours. but my brain was unfortunately flipped ON.

do i hate my hair color? i am still mad about our wedding photos situation, oh deeeear what do i do about the wedding photos situation that i have completely forgotten about for two years? is that expensive plant dying because it's in a north window but should be in a south window for optimal sunshine? is our cat still in pain after getting fixed? will i ever get the 20 pages of research papers done that i have to write in the next two weeks? can we afford health insurance? should i have not bought that dress? can i pull it off even?"

why? why do i stress? and over inconsequential things, at that! and i know i'm not alone in this. we all do it! especially during that half-awake-half-asleep state. it's the stupidest! i am only taking 4 classes but i'm also working part-time. it's the best, non-stressful job ever, but it still takes up time during the week. i know other people are juggling way more than me and seem to do it with grace. what? i am not that person. so far in life, my stress trick has been to take on the right amount of things. but inevitably you will hit that point in the semester where you feel like you don't have enough time or motivation to do all your homework, or you will for some reason or another be crunched for money, or love, or patience, or any other of life's necessities.

i've learned that deep breathing really does help me fall back asleep faster than you can say melatonin. consciously reminding myself that all that really matters is lying in the bed next to me, does wonders as well. when i'm awake and stressing, i've found that exercise very often puts it all in perspective for me. but most often, taking my stresses head on usually makes me realize they aren't that big at all, they just cast a big shadow. it's funny how when you finally force yourself to just get started on a task, it's not nearly as impossible as it felt before you began. what are your tips, if you have any?

ps, more pics from moab coming soon! and coming of age posts about nail polish and gender identity and yada, yada, yada (: