i in no way expect to expansively cover every facet of this topic, or even come close to remotely touching on every last conceivable concern or objection to my assertions. i am actually only endeavoring to touch on one main point.
many of you will disagree with me on this entire post, some of you will agree wholly or to some degree, most of you will at least give my words some thought, and some of you will still reject my statements after thinking it over. and that's okay with me. the point of this opening statement is that i realize i'm bringing up an emotionally charged issue, full of deeply rooted feelings and opinions. the last thing i expect this post to do is change anyone's mind. but i hope to open the pathways of new consideration, new ideas, and thoughts you may have never thought before. i have radically changed my opinion on this topic, and it took many prayer, study, and pondering sessions, handfuls of open, honest, and sometimes angry discussions, and an english teacher who did a terrific job of forcing open my mind to something i was sure would never change.
to some degree or another this describes your life: you grew up reading the scriptures as a family on sunday evenings, family home evening on monday nights, mutual on wednesdays, and mom and dad went out for date night on friday nights. you've never even been offered a cigarette in a social setting, a sip of coffee might as well be whiskey, and if someone says, "scripture mastery" your only reply is "which one?". you are the typical latter-day saint.
all your life you've been taught that homosexuality is a sin, and you agree. the family proclamation is your credo, and you're comfortable with that. so when it comes to same-sex marriage being legalized, the answer is obvious: no way.
does this make you a bigot? are you hateful? no way, not at all! you love all people, and you truly strive you empathize with others and accept all people for who they are, and most importantly, you foster a deep love for God's children in your heart. so how could you be off track?
you believe that marriage is sacred and ordained of God. you believe that gender is essential to individual identity and that marriage should be between a man and a woman. family is the purpose of life and is critical to your individual happiness, as well as the foundation of society. without solid families built upon a sturdy foundation of husbands and wives, society will lose it's stability and crumble, as foretold by ancient and modern prophets, as described so explicitly in the family proclamation. you recognize that same-sex marriage will likely eventually be legalized across the U.S., but you only hope it won't happen in your lifetime, or your children's, or your grandchildren's...
you are a latter-day saint, and a dang good one! you love the people around you despite lifestyle differences, weaknesses, shortcomings, and opposing political views (or at least strive really freaking hard to!). you are patient with your friends and loved ones, you offer the benefit of the doubt, you reserve judgment for the heavens.
you believe that the true church of Christ was restored in this last dispensation, and that a current prophet lives on earth. modern apostles and prophets have actively protested the legalization of same-sex marriage, i mean we all witnessed prop 8, right? so why should any faithful latter-day saint, including you, give a second thought to the marital rights of homosexuals, if the living prophet of God and other church authorities are against those rights? i mean, last i checked, the church hasn't repealed their stance since prop 8.
but let me tell you something, you can be both on track and off track at the same time. you can know that homosexuality is a sin and even wish that no same-sex couple would desire to marry, and this is okay. but where our divine understanding about marriage and the Lord's doctrine on homosexuality is not accepted by every other american, we are off track in our expectation of our fellow americans and in our expectation of a law created by man.
here's my idea: this is a civil rights issue. this is america we are talking about, not the kingdom of God. these are civil rights of american citizens on the table, not gospel doctrines. and this question i'm about to ask right here is the real kicker, the question upon which any potential same-sex marriage paradigm shift is contingent:
on any other topic besides same-sex marriage, have you ever expected U.S. law to match your inner belief system?
a few more questions alma-five-style for you to ponder over, pray about, to use in conjunction with your personal scripture study, and mainly to reflect on how they relate to the civil rights of homosexuals in america. here goes:
- when is the last time you (or the church) revolted against current laws legalizing the use of tobacco, alcohol, and strip clubs (to name a few behaviors we LDS people see as sins, that are currently legal for U.S. citizens)?
- when is the last time you expected society at large to match your personal values and standards (separate from this concern)?
- when is the last time the church expected society and current U.S. laws to match our personal values and standards (separate from this concern)?
- as a U.S. citizen who deeply values your own freedoms that are too great to number, can you honestly say that withholding the freedom to marry from a group of people whose inner belief system varies from yours is constitutional?
i am not suggesting that the church is ever going to, or should ever make a change to official doctrinal views on homosexuality and marriage. i am suggesting that individual members need to recognize that the question of same-sex marriage becoming valid in the legal system in the united states is a civil rights issue, entirely separate from true doctrine. there has never been a time in U.S. history when laws were dictated by the mouth of God. think about it!? after the second coming, when earth is politically and ecclesiastically ruled by Jesus Christ, my discussion will be much different. but for now, that is not the case.
so here is my big invitation: will you try, or consider trying to view this as a civil rights issue? would you separate your cherished and wonderful values from your expectations from U.S. law regarding this issue? because you've already done so on many other occasions. will you take time to ponder, search your scriptures, and pray about the questions i posed?
30 comments:
i love this post so, so much! i whole-heartedly agree with you.
Well thought out, Kelli, but we're not talking about "personal beliefs here," are we? This isn't about respecting a vegetarian by serving a vegetarian meal when they come to visit. Matters of gender are fundamental truths of identity and existence, not personal beliefs. Doctrines about homosexuality are not just opinions the Brethren have. And in regard to opposing tobacco, strip clubs, and alcohol, yes, we are absolutely supposed to oppose those on a political level. "We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society." This certainly means that the Church would have us engage in civil discourse and procedure to, for instance, oppose the opening of a strip club near our neighborhood, even if we don't get a letter read to us from over the pulpit every time a moral issue faces the community (like we did with Proposition 8). I will never expect the US to conform to my personal beliefs on GMOs or school safety, but matters of homosexuality are not personal beliefs at all. They are truth taught by a prophet. I think this post is out of line in that way.
First, I wholeheartedly agree with what anonymous ^^ said. And whether or not the prophets have made political/social "mistakes" is not reason to not follow them on this issue. They are led by God and I would never want to be caught not following the prophet because I feel like they will change their mind in a year or two. I know the prophet can never lead us astray and if he asks me to oppose the legalization of gay marriage, I will. And I will do all I can to stand up for the family as the fundamental unit of society even if it means putting a possibly contentious comment when I am an advocate for peace. I think being an open-minded, critical thinker (i admire you for this, among other things) is crucial in these days, but it is harmful when doing so leads you away from what the prophet has asked us to do.
Did not mean to delete my comment!! Stupid iPad. Kelli I think you are so brave for posting this. I think we all have a lot to learn and my opinion about this topic is changing every day. This post articulated feelings I've had for awhile, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. So thank you!
Hey Kelli! I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on gay marriage, especially since it's a topic close to my heart and one that I've thought long and hard about. Seeing the legalization of gay marriage, as a civil rights issue, is something I've never thought of before. So I thank you for sharing your thoughts/ideas/truths that you believe, they have opened up my mind and I will definitely continue to think and ponder on what you have written here.
Tough topic. Glad you thought long and hard about it. And will keep doing it, I assume. The church needs personalities in it that can be a balance in society, I believe. Because there are so many parts of THE CHURCH that can offend and confuse the public or even it's members. But what it all comes down to for me and anyone else who thinks long and hard would probably come up with the same conclusion is that it is all here (religion, especially mine) to bring families together. So forgetting about or not worrying about issues that distract from this is easy for me. I can be as open as I need to be as long as my family is close and full of love for each other. Regardless of beliefs. I think that is a healthy stance, for me and many people, especially regarding this issue. My point is I agree with most everything you said but more basically for me is that we just gotta love one another. And sometimes that means overlooking shhhtufff.
Nice job in doing some good research. after reading your post I can tell that you put a lot of time an effort into thinking about this subject, which I believe everyone should do.
I believe in one Law, and one Law only, and that is the Laws of the Gospel. I believe that the laws of the land are a lower law if you think about them no U.S. Law forces you to do anything that goes against your gospel beliefs.
In fact most of them will guide you to the higher law.
I dont kill not because is against the law, I do it because it is a commandment. I dont steal because it is against the law I do it because it is a commandment. These both set of laws are given for the same purpose, for men to have happiness, and freedom.
Sadly the government can only think of freedom in one sense and that is physical, but we know also that there is spiritual freedom that this laws must guide us to. And approving same sex marriage will not lead to spiritual freedom to those who participate on it.
So to answer the question, if I expect the Laws of the government to meet my personal beliefs? I will say yes,
In fact I believe that the laws of the government are model after our personal beliefs (thats why we vote for people who believe what we believe), the thing is that many people are changing what they believe on. making the laws look like a foreigner wrote them when in reality it was people like us.
My view is this, I think people no matter what should enjoy of the same opportunities, there are a lot of laws that need to change for the LGBT community to be in that group and I support that. but marriage is not one of them, because of what it is and what it means in fact marriage is so holy that is done in the temple, In the house of the Lord, in the presence of the Lord.
You sait it yourself if Jesus was here you will have a totally different argument (hopefully it is against same sex marriage), the question then is why wait till he is here? He can be among us if we live like he was with us.
I dont believe to have the right answer, but I believe that if my views now will contradict what the Lord will require of me later on in life, why not just live it now. I love many people (including family members) who are part of the LGBT community, and I fell like is a subject worth learning about, but like Jesus said He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad. so I will play it safe and be with him on this one. your right people can make mistakes after all even the prophet is a human. but the doctrine is the doctrine. and even when this is a civil issue because your totally right it is. It should be our moral compass or our inner beliefs (if we believe what is right aka the gospel of Jesus Chist) that should lead us to making the right types of policy for everyone to have not only physical but spiritual happiness and freedom.
Isaac Lopez
Kelli,
My eternal friend, I love you and your thoughts. I am so proud to call you my friend. You inspire me.
What wasn't said here explicitly is an important principle that I believe we all can learn from. You are practicing the gospel, you are strengthening your relationship with God through honest prayer, scripture study, and pondering. You are founded on what won't move, God and your relationship with Him. Prophets are people, not God. When we anchor our faith on proper principles we aren't easily shaken. I admire your benevolence and desire to dig deeper, to think honestly, and to weigh options. Thanks for this post and keep going bebz. xo
Lindsey James
Thanks Kelli!
I thought it was great reading your post and I love knowing that more and more people within the church are at the very least, understanding.
I think a lot of active members in the church fail to recognize that people in the LGBT community aren't asking you to do anything within your own church against your beliefs. We are simply asking to have the same rights as any one else in this country.
No member in the LGBT community is asking to be married in a temple, nor are they even asking for anybody to "like" or approve of their marriage. The simple recognition that our love is no lesser in the eyes of the government is all anybody asks for.
If gay marriage is not to be allowed within the church then so be it. However, let those outside of the church express their love and live as they will.
If nobody wants their god to love our love the way he loves their own, that's fine, but looking to the church's own scripture might be a good way for many other members to start.
"We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may."
-Patrick
Thanks for writing this. I've been thinking about this topic for a long time and how I feel about it. I'm not sure if I agree with you or not but I am definitely going to keep thinking about what you said.
Kelli,
I loved reading your post. I also have been thinking about same-sex marriage and what it means for us as members of the church. I have reached a similar position as you. We can be active, worthy members of the church and still support same-sex marriage. Thanks for the interesting read!
Keep it up.
Kelli,
I always enjoy reading your blog. It strikes me as odd that you would ask and almost plead for people to change their view on this topic. I am a devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My life does not reflect the one you described of many other devout "Mormons", at all. I don't think that makes me any better or worse than anyone else. However, it has afforded me many experiences that have helped me shape my opinion on many important topics.
I loved the first anonomys comment that was made and I would like to completely agree with that person. I would also like to ask and plead with you to change your viewpoint.
My sister is a happily married lesbian in Washington State. I love her and her wife completely. I also absolutely reject the idea of same-sex marriage and the corruption of the family in the world that we live in. This is such a fundamental doctrine that is SO important that we all need to take a stand and say, we believe in loving people despite their sinful acts and at the same time take a stand against those sins. We have the responsibility and the privedge to protect and defend the sacred eternal nature of families.
Shalise
Same-sex marriage has always been something I heavily debated… in my head, of course. I finally came to this conclusion: When the LDS Church was performing baptisms for the dead on Holocaust victims; the Jewish community did not appreciate this. Many LDS members thought, “Well, if they don’t believe it, it doesn’t affect them!” (The church has tightened the reins on who members baptize.) To a great degree, the same thing can be said about same-sex marriage. What they do doesn’t affect me or my family. From my readings, the LDS church is protecting the definition of marriage (The Family: A Proclamation to the World). Definitions change over time. The word “gay” is a prime example. Not all definitions change but I have a feeling this one will.
Through my many internal debates, I often thought, “Well, if homosexuals are allowed to wed, what do we do about polygamy? Where does one start to draw the line?” I mean, let’s face it: marriage is important, but a temple sealing is where it’s at. One may be deprived of many blessings in this life and in the next if they are not sealed for time and all eternity. The LDS church doesn’t have to allow homosexuals to get married in our temples, but depriving them of a civil wedding just seems silly when we deem temple marriages so, so vital.
Perhaps others have already shared my point of view; I didn’t read everyone’s comments.
i don't necessarily want to add my two cents on the topic, but rather i want to thank you for creating the opportunity for an open and respectful discussion. i think it is important to talk about stuff like this, and i think it is important that we learn to respect differing opinions. i'm grateful that you took the time to write this and i'm grateful that you left the comments open. i'm especially grateful that people took the time to add their two cents while respecting yours.
Here is the thing about this topic. religion and law is a separate thing for a reason. Marriage in the US is a lawful thing ans therefore by very definition falls under the seperation of church and state a founding principle of the constitution.
on a personal level imagine that you are in a commmited loving relationship with someone for years and they are in a horrible accident. They are in the ICU and not only do you not get to see them but you get no say in their care. This literally hurts my soul. I couldn't imagine this. What does it matter if we allows to get married. It won't change your beliefs. It won't change your family values. it shouldn't matter to you.
I applaud you kelli for taking this stance. While we won't ever agree on some things I applaud you for going against the grain on something I know you value so much.
I've been thinking about this so much lately, and I actually came to this same conclusion a few weeks ago. It's been a weird thing, feeling like I'm not believing what I "should." But I agree. I am in no way wanting to change the sacredness of the temple, but for the millions of people who are not members and are in love... We cannot take that away from them. I have a friend who recently came out to me, and while his goal is to still marry in the temple, I can't help but think that if one day he decides he just can't do it, that Jesus will still love him! And we'll still support him. Because we are here to love and to be kind!
Anyway, you are great.
Thank you for this thoughtful post. Twenty years from now we will look back at these discussions and see how silly they were. Remember that 50 years ago black members of the church could not participate in temple ordinances or of course hold the priesthood. Societies and churches evolve and we are beginning to see those changes for homosexuals in the eyes of society and the mormon church. Thanks for the thoughtful essay.
Kelli,
Thank you for your thoughtful treatment of this issue. I know you, and know what a faithful and dedicated Latter-day Saint you are. Like many who have posted, I've got plenty to say on this issue, but since I should be writing a book, I will bring up two points.
I lived through the whole Equal Rights Amendment fight, and the Church DID NOT fight it because they were against equal rights. In fact, I am convinced that the Church would fight the ERA today if it became an issue again. Pres. Kimball spoke specifically to this issue many times, and the Church opposed the ERA because the passage of it would have had devastating consequences for women and families. One consequence that no one could have foreseen: Gay marriage would have been legal years ago if the ERA were passed. Ironic, isn't it? (There are lots of other examples, but my book is waiting.)
Secondly, there is safety in following the prophet no matter what the issue is. We can attempt to justify ourselves using the reasoning of men, but there is no safety in the arm of flesh. Remember 2 Nephi 28:14. "They have all gone astray save it be a few, who are the humble followers of Christ; nevertheless, they are led, that in many instances they do err because they are taught by the precepts of men."
This from Brigham Young: “Some of the leading men in Kirtland were much opposed to Joseph the Prophet, meddling with temporal affairs …
“In a public meeting of the Saints, I said, ‘Ye Elders of Israel, … will some of you draw the line of demarcation, between the spiritual and temporal in the kingdom of God, so that I may understand it?’ Not one of them could do it …
“I defy any man on earth to point out the path a Prophet of God should walk in, or point out his duty, and just how far he must go, in dictating temporal or spiritual things. Temporal and spiritual things are inseparably connected, and ever will be.”
Thanks for reading. Now back to my book.
Kelli, I always appreciate your willingness to study things out in your mind. Ever since I have known you, you have done serious scripture diving to find truth. I am a bit surprised at your desire for us as a group of people to go against what we have been told by our prophet and apostles. That is very shaky ground to walk on, so it is my hope that everyone who reads this will be cautious about who they will choose to follow if they don't study these things out in their own minds. I think you and I know well that some people will read this and think "this makes sense, that is what I believe also." just as they follow people they admire and trust (like the prophet of God.) You are an influential and inspirational person and with that comes a great weight of responsibility for exercising caution in how you inspire. And oh how grateful I am for the inspiration you have bestowed in my own life.
I would like to take a quick chance to say that I am absolutely against current licquor laws, drug laws, and a myriad of other "civil rights". I also expect no one to believe the things that I do. I also believe that we are in the "business of saving souls". I'm not in the business of helping people when they want it, changing my opinion when it suits the trends of society, or making sure everyone feels accepted (according to their own definitions). It is my responsibility to help guide people to the absolute truth and knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The fundamental principles and ordinances that will provide eternal freedom for all living people is in my set of knowledge. That is INCREDIBLE to me. I have a firm testimony in following the teachings of the leaders of this church. I have a firm testimony in the family unit and it's true definition. I hope to always act as if Christ was reigning king, because He IS! I know Satan is real and attacking the family unit bit by bit. This is a tool for him to use the words of men mingled with scripture.
I believe I am fighting for civil freedom by protecting the family. We read in the Book of Mormon over and over That society will fall when the family crumbles. I believe I am also fighting for an even greater spiritual and eternal freedom. Because you expect someone with my beliefs to spend my time fighting against everything contrary to God's law, should I expect that you will now be fighting for the right to underage drinking or participate in/viewing childhood pornography? I don't mean to sound rude, rather to make a point.... Where do we draw the lines? These morals all come from a loving Heavenly Father. We have been given the tools
of prayer and pondering to help us find that ABSOLUTE truth. We also have an evil influence lurking about, helping us to refer to Internet articles, opinions of intellects, and societal trends that so hastily cloud our vision.
We have a Prophet who helps us through those storms and misty days. I will follow Him. And most importantly, I love God and will do my best to open my mind to His perfect knowledge and pray that the Spirit can always stay near me in confusing times like these.
I hope everyone will think and pray very seriously before going against the instruction of our modern day leaders.
I love you, Kelli!
Kelli, you are too cool for words! I admire you so much and think this is one of the most insightful posts on the subject I've ever read. Change only happens when people dare to question the status quo. I am so proud of you for using your intellect and following the promptings of your heart.
I would also like to comment on all of the posts saying that people DO support banning liquor, smoking... basically anything against the church teachings. Satan's plan was to take away free agency. One of the blessings that came with following Jesus' plan is that we are able to make choices for ourselves and have the ability to choose the lives we want for ourselves (and living with the positive and negative consequences that comes from our choices). After all, if we were given no choices in life, how could we grow and progress? Why come to earth at all?
I'm not saying everything should be legal - things that negatively impact innocent individuals (such as drunk driving, violent acts, etc.) should obviously not be tolerated in society. I fail to understand how gay marriage could possibly negatively impact innocent people. studies have confirmed that children raised by two loving parents of either gender are just as happy as children raised by heterosexual parents. Love is LOVE! Gay marriage will not make a heterosexual couple's marriage any less valid in the eyes of the lord. I'd rather have two loving homosexual parents ANY DAY than abusive parent, neglectful or emotionally unavailable heterosexual parents.
Kelli, many years from now when our grandchildren look back on this issue (like we look back on our grandparents reactions to interracial marriage... seems like a silly issue to us now), your grandchildren will be proud you stood on the side of justice and equality.
I hope people can find the humor in this letter written to Dr. Laura. It goes to show that laws dictated by prophets of old are rarely followed in society and that Gods will can change (he's now cool with poly-blended fibers - thank goodness!). This might be controversial... but prophets are only human after all. Even since the restoration, church policy has changed on a number of issues. Prophets are ONLY HUMAN can misinterpret the will of God (i.e. black people were fence sitters in the pre-existence which is why they are cursed) which is why it is so import for us to think for ourselves and have a direct relationship with God.
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… end of
debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual unseemliness – Lev. 15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
It's important to differentiate between policy, opinions, and doctrine. The church doesn't come out and state the first two under the name of "doctrine" and later come back and say, "sorry, just kidding, we were wrong!" Church policy can and does change, and it does not reflect a mistake or weakness on the part of the leadership of the church. The blacks and the priesthood is an example of policy. But as far as how the leadership of the church defines our views on gay marriage, "The Church’s approach to this issue stands apart from society in many ways. And that’s alright. Reasonable people can and do differ. From a public relations perspective it would be easier for the Church to simply accept homosexual behavior. That we cannot
do, for God’s law is not ours to change. There is no change in the Church’s position of what is morally right. But what is changing — and what needs to change — is to help Church members respond sensitively and thoughtfully when they encounter same-sex attraction in their own families, among other Church members, or elsewhere."
(http://www.mormonsandgays.org)
I would be careful about calling the prophet and apostles wrong and mistaken when they have laid out the doctrine so clearly. Note the terminology "God's law." This website - http://www.lds.org/topics/same-gender-attraction?lang=eng- also lays it out pretty clear. Interesting how many accusations of the church's standpoint are inaccurate, and how it all revolves around one, central, eternal principle.
Finally I would say - you claim to have done a lot of research, but don't cite any of it here. Just a thought.
Political Choice vs. Eternal Truth
There are two issues in all of these types of discussions and they are almost always conflated. There is the question of a gay couple’s legal rights and there is the question of gay marriage.
A gay couple, from my perspective, should not be given fewer legal rights… preventing gay couples from working, entering into contracts, and receiving fair tax treatment is NOT what I am suggesting. However, transitioning into the second issue; gender, marriage, and family structure are not legal rights…
Marriage is a truth, not a choice. For those of you who are not LDS, this is where you may disagree with me on what I deem to be a truth (and such a discussion is important, but I will not be addressing it in this comment because Kelli’s blog post was directed towards LDS members). The “Proclamation to the World” on “The Family” was just that, a proclamation of fact. Gender, Marriage, and the Structure of a Family are not choices, they are truths. Kelli, you say the LDS church is making a “political decision” to not support gay marriage… What is more central to Heavenly Father’s plan than the family unit!!! What is the purpose of the atonement?! What is the purpose of temples, priesthood, and all the other doctrines of the church?! To link together family units across generations! Life is about Family, and God defined Family a long time ago when he created man and woman! Other “rules” of the gospel are related to choices (don’t drink alcohol, don’t watch pornography, go to church on Sunday) and Kelli, you are right to think it would be ridiculous for the Church to impose such rules on the world. Peoples’ choices are judged (or at least “judgeable”) on many different levels (ethically, morally, legally). Facts and Truths should not and cannot be judged! (I believe/judge this apple to be an orange… what?). However, the definition and purpose of eternity is not something to be interfered with. It is scary to think that society is so close to rendering the basic truths of existence as mere choices or personal beliefs. I use the word “truth” here not in the sense of a religious axiom, doctrine, or principle (chastity, word of wisdom, etc), but as an unchangeable, unalterable, eternal, certainty.
I am not suggesting in this comment that all heterosexual couples are better parents than gay couples. That is insane. I know that there are great people out there in gay relationships and they are raising great kids. Regardless, the structure of family and the definition of marriage are eternal truths.
And one final point. I have heard arguments about the church making other “political decisions” that have turned out to be incorrect (note: I said the church, not church leaders)… for example, the church’s policies on African Americans holding the priesthood. God’s timing and purpose are his own. Christ initially instructed the Apostles not to take the gospel to the Gentiles (Matthew 10:5-6). Why? Was this an incorrect political decision? It was not! God’s timing is his own.
I am grateful that people are having these discussions. We all need to figure out where we really stand on this issue. Thanks Kelli!
Kelli--I'm a big fan of yours! It's obvious the amount of thought you have put in to this complex issue. Love your courage!
“when is the last time you (or the church) revolted against current laws legalizing the use of tobacco, alcohol, and strip clubs (to name a few behaviors we LDS people see as sins, that are currently legal for U.S. citizens)?”
The church handbook states: “Members are encouraged to support measures that strengthen the moral fabric of society, particularly those designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.” While the church takes the official stance of neutrality in politics not regarding moral issues, it has encouraged (with its understanding of how laws are made) over the pulpit since the beginning of the church as it was being moved from state to state, the members to be actively involved in the political process. That includes electing representatives that protect and sustain our values. Ask any of your Non-Mormon friends about the cost of alcohol and tobacco in Utah. The high taxes and availability of certain alcohol contents within the State of Utah speak volumes to the dedication of church members who fight against these laws. Heber J. Grant as a young apostle actively lobbied before congress representing the LDS faith on the subject of prohibition. When Joseph Smith ran for president and Ezra Taft Benson worked as the Secretary of Agriculture they expected to make a difference in our government. In the missionary service manual Preach My Gospel we learn the importance of the most basic commandments observance and its impact on a nation, “When a community or nation grows careless in its Sabbath activities, its religious life decays and all aspects of life are negatively affected. The blessings associated with keeping the Sabbath day holy are lost.” The decisions we make as a nation do have great impacts and we should campaign for what we have been taught and value.
“when is the last time you expected society at large to match your personal values and standards (separate from this concern)?”
The real question is when is the last time the church expected society and current U.S. laws to match our personal values and standards (separate from this concern)? I went on a mission because I expected other people to have similar personal values and to share my values. If I did not expect to match my values with the people I served I might as well have stayed home. On local levels stake presidents and bishops have advocated for the political involvement of church members in local issues. If you haven’t noticed, then you might want to take your own stand rather than point fingers. It is easy to point blame but hard to take action. The church does not have the legal organization or resources to get involved in all of these issues. How would you really feel if your tithing money was paying lobbying and legal fees? We have a lay ministry meaning we don’t pay our bishops and stake presidents so they have jobs that take up the time it takes meddling in politics. I think the general authorities have better things to do as well, don’t you? So for this question, I guess it’s up to you and me not the church to be involved.
I do expect United States Law to match my inner belief system. The popular jurisprudence of natural law is based on the idea that laws should be based on inherent moral ethics of right and wrong that all people feel. The Ten Commandments is widely recognized by many in the legal community as the first recorded legal system, and yes, it is based on my beliefs. I think that the key to your argument here is undermined, by a basic understanding of the U.S. Legal System, and even what a Civil Right is. Civil Rights are defined through law namely the 1st through 10th amendments to the United States Constitution known as the Bill of Rights which protects us from our government. The Bill of Rights includes the right to bear arms, form militias, our rights to due process, fair trial etc. The 13th, 14th, and 15th amendments to the United States Constitution specifically extend these rights to all naturalized citizens of the United States especially the minority groups of the time such as African Americans. No person in this country with same gender attraction is being denied any of these rights and if they were then yes, we should certainly do something about it. Civil Rights are only a legal right given to citizens of this country. Contrary to popular belief civil rights are not some god given far reaching rights afforded to everyone regardless of where they live, but rather just a legal concept unique to the United States. Laws can be created by legislation or through court cases. We elect representatives to make laws that represent what we want and that will reflect our “inner” beliefs. The gospel however promotes internationally the rights of humans of all backgrounds not only in this life but the life to come.
Marriage is not a civil rights issue but rather relates more to the Privileges and Immunities, which is where you get into moral grey areas. Guaranteed in the ideas of Privileges and Immunities you also find the right of people to worship, advocate, and live according to their own beliefs. This is why we as church members can be active in voting on local, state, and national levels to elect officials that will create laws that represent our beliefs. Marriage itself is religious in nature which is why most marriages are performed in churches. Marriage has long been a clouded area within the separation of church and state. The reason why government is involved in common law marriage is because of civil and family law which exists outside of our criminal justice system. When married we enter into financial obligations as well as many other obligations that develop through having children etc. Family law ensures that the responsibilities of parents and spouses are met and are fair. Many people would agree that marriage itself with its religious origin should be left to the churches while the legal ramifications of habitation of two people should be left to the government. Many see marriage as a sacred thing (LDS church members in particular) with much more to do with their beliefs and values then the legal obligations that are governed by law.
We as Latter Day Saints should recognize two things about the restoration were made clear when Moroni visited the boy prophet Joseph Smith. They were the coming forth of the Book of Mormon, and the prophecy of the Spirit of Elijah. While it is easy to embrace the doctrines of the Book of Mormon, we sometimes struggle with the prophecies of Elijah’s mission and spirit in this dispensation. We as LDS church members go to temples to receive sacred saving ordinances that pave the way to exaltation. The highest of these ordinances is the sealing which unites families together past this life. We are encouraged to turn our hearts to our fathers and perform family history work to perform these same ordinances on behalf of our ancestors, thus making good on what Moroni, Elijah, Nephi, and Malachi all referred to as the promises given to the fathers. These promises were that they could be connected to their families, and choose to receive the blessings they were not afforded during their lifetime. What are the eternal ramifications of a same gender marriage? What about children adopted to those same gender parents? Is it fair to the descendants and children to not be sealed to these families for eternity? We have been told that Satan is attacking families. We usually focus on the attacks of cohabitation, pornography, media etc. Is it possible that he could be attacking eternal families as well? How disappointed will these families be only to realize that for the eternities all that they had worked for in mortality will be for naught? Is it fair to those with a same-sex marriage? In essence Satan has created the counterfeit marriage. If you have ever done some family history work on the churches familysearch.org I think you will have learned how complicated it already is with divorce and broken families to track down and perform the necessary ordinances for your ancestors.
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